The Dionysian Experience

Sensual, Thoughtful, and Very Naughty

Sperm Wars – Seeding Passion’s Flame

Sienna - Blacked (carry) 36 copy 4

It is a somewhat uncomfortable confession…that it really turns me on to think about my lover with another man. The emotional burn, intense mind-fuck, and physical arousal is like nothing I have ever known. If you are new to The Dionysian Experience, you should know that I am first a passionate, sensual man that loves and adores women. Cuckolding for me represents sexual play or occasional variety to mix things up. It is not a state of being. As a man that lives my life as driven, highly competitive male, I have what some would consider to be a counterintuitive sexual desire.

I have been exploring and trying to understand elements of my cuckold fantasy and cuckolding in general. In Cuckold: A Brief Introduction, I set out to identify a core definition shared by all cuckolds and some of the “fetish within a fetish” layers often associated with cuckolding. My second post, Cuckold: Mind Bender is a deeper dive into the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold experience.

Sperm Wars is my third foray into the psychology of cuckolding and explores the effect of male competition on sex drive. While the Sperm Wars effect exists outside of cuckolding, it is often an erotic layer found within cuckold sexual play. The idea of sexual competition was elucidated in Sperm Wars by Dr. Robin Baker. Sperm Wars was published to critical acclaim and controversy in 1996. My exploration of the theory contains elements of Baker’s book as well as my thoughts as I try to understand “the why” behind one of my most intense sexual desires.

The “Science” of Sperm Wars

Until recently, biologists thought there was only one kind of sperm in semen with one purpose–swim to the egg and inseminate it. Biologists Robin Baker and Mark Bellis found these “egg-inseminators” make up only about one per cent of a man’s sperm count. So, what about the rest? They discovered most sperm don’t swim to the egg at all. Instead, we have “killer” and “defender” sperm. Killer sperm is designed to hunt and destroy the sperm of other men that may also be present in a woman’s pussy. Defender sperm is designed to defend a man’s seed from attack by another man’s killer sperm.

How did this genetic battle come about? Scientists speculate our human ancestors were not monogamous and often several males would mate with one fertile female within the same day and over several days. The cum from these men would then intermingle within the woman fighting for the evolutionary reward of fertilizing her egg.

Implications

Reproductive Overdrive – Sperm Wars suggests that most men experience a biological reaction to the thought of their lover being with another man. At a minimum, this stimulation is a reproductive reaction. Scientific research has shown that when men are faced with sperm competition, the results are higher sperm volume, increased sperm motility, and firmer erections along with harder and deeper thrusting. There are also many other reactions that may not be so pleasant such as anger and jealousy. For some though, myself included, the reaction also includes heightened sexual arousal (and that is putting it mildly). Of course, both extremes often co-exist within each of us and each man must know himself and master his internal swirl. While the “sperm wars” effect is real, it is important to remember that not all men have cuckold fantasies or desire this form of sexual play. Using it to enhance your relationship is playing with fire and needs to carefully navigated.

Sexual Apathy – Sperm Wars theory also suggests men are wired to be aroused by sexual competition. This could partially explain why some men, even if they adore their lover, can experience a diminishing sex drive over time when the threat of sexual competition fades. If a man feels no sexual competition for his lover, his body’s production of sperm and sexual drive may drift lower…conserving energy for a later day or new threat. There are certainly other factors that can contribute to declining sex drive such as overall health. However, if a man suspects his lover is interested in another man, there is a good chance he will begin to compete for her. His attention becomes more like it was in the days when he was first winning her heart. This can lead to a rekindling of the passion and intimacy shared when romantic love reigned supreme.

Fantasies and Love

In The Seven Loves: An Introduction, I explore the interplay of passion, intimacy, and commitment in the formation of seven different types of love. In Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire, I explore the illusion of romantic love as ultimate love and end with the notion of a higher love–consummate or complete love. A burning question remained in that post. Even if we realize the divine fire of romantic love cannot be sustained infinitely, we still crave some level of passion and intimacy. How do we keep the fire burning with enough moments of fiery eruptions to sustain us?

If we embrace and explore one another’s fantasies (cuckolding, D/s, or whatever makes you hot), there is an opportunity to catch moments of the divine bliss found in romantic love by fueling ongoing cycles of passionate and intimate connections with our lover. A lifetime of love and shared experiences would certainly qualify as commitment–the third arm in the triangle of love theory.

Alternatively, we can deny our lover’s fantasies and proclaim that “I should be enough” or “Your fantasies are weird”.  We can cling to a vanilla sexual existence and make our partner feel bad without even opening our mind to possibilities or trying to understand our lover’s desires. If we choose this route, do we really accomplish anything? No, our lover just stops sharing with us. Their desires don’t vanish. Instead, they will turn to other outlets.

I brought up the concept of anima/animus ( the divine projection from one’s soul of his/her ideal woman/man in Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire). It is likely that a sexual element is connected to this divine projection. If we can tap into our lover’s sexual fantasies and explore them on some level, we can create moments of divine ecstasy. A man’s lover embodies and becomes the real-life expression of his Aphrodite…even if it is intermittently expressed. In turn, the man can do the same for his lover. We momentarily tap into the archetypes of Eros, Dionysus, etc. and use them as passages of transcendent divine ecstasy. We must remember though, these are transient states. No one can indefinitely sustain the divine projection of another’s soul (anima/animus). Trying to do so is where Romantic Love fails us over time.

Tapping Into Sperm Wars and Cuckolding

Tapping into sperm wars and cuckolding (or any sexual play) must be done with emotional commitment and the ultimate aim being to fuel the passion and intimacy of the couple. This is about lovers having fun as a couple and enhancing their relationship. If you are in love with your man and discover he finds this exciting, it can be a powerfully erotic and connecting experience for both of you.

I’ve come across some scholarly research on sexual behavior that reports 58% of men are aroused by the thought of watching their lover with another man. Think about this ladies, if you go on a double date the statistics suggest that one of the men at that table has a cuckold fantasy. It might even be your man.

How can we tap into this heightened state of sexual arousal fueled by the notion of Sperm Wars? It is worth noting up front that a woman doesn’t actually have to have sex with another man to create the Sperm Wars effect. Even the possibility of sexual competition or exploration through erotic story telling with one another is enough to get a man’s biological engines humming. That said, making it real can take it to another level.

For men that embrace sexual competition or have cuckold fantasies, the drive to reclaim our sexy girl can be so damn intense! I can feel the maximum length and thickness in my throbbing erection…the aching fullness of my balls…it truly places me on the edge. As I describe in Cuckold: Mind Bender, the mind fuck is so intense! There is also the raw biological drive explored earlier in this post. Then, there is the passion of romantic love (Romantic Love: Hearts on Fire) exploding during the reclaiming, reconnecting, and afterglow. Mentally, emotionally, and physically…the perfect erotic whirlwind that engulfs me and my lover.

While this exploration has been focused on my desires (the male perspective), I am sensitive and attentive to my lover’s experience within this journey. Cuckolding is a delicate dance with the ultimate purpose always being to enhance the couple’s relationship. It isn’t for everyone…no fetish or sexual play is. It is about showing and sharing love…it is about our naughty adventure together.

I’ll end with this. I once sent an image to a lover that had a woman laying on a bed with cum spilling from her pussy. I shared a little vignette about our own cuckold experience and how crazy hot it was to watch her being fucked.  When the loving energy is right, the seeding of passion’s flame looks like this:

“Do you want me to pose for a photo like this for you with another man’s cum spilling out of me?  Mmmm, Baby!!! 🔥🔥🔥 I remember our moment so well 🔥💋🔥💋 It is so hot for me to know you loved this moment and how it turned you on as I waited for you with his cum rushing out of me, mmmm!!! Even more so, I love the memory of you having me after…again and again!!!!!!!!! 🔥💋❤️ I’m craving you so much right now…wanting to feel you and share our fantasies…wanting your touch and erotic vibe… I can’t wait to have you Baby!!!! 😘😘😘😘😘💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋I love you!”

From my lost blog:

Screen Shot 2018-02-10 at 1.37.16 PM

A version of this post was once included on Sensual Shadows (a blog I shared with Sienna). If you enjoy reading the discussion/comments after posts, you will notice some of them make reference to Sienna.

109 comments on “Sperm Wars – Seeding Passion’s Flame

  1. Aurora
    January 7, 2018

    I learned last year that the shape of the penis, with the flared head and crown, is so that it can scoop out the sperm of other men before implanting its own seed. So yes, I don’t think we were monogamous so long ago and it’s probably not too far out of our DNA given all the infidelity out there. This is such an interesting fantasy and I like the idea of using the role play to put some fire back into your sex life. That’s probably closer to what most people would actually do and it’s a good suggestion.

    I’m so happy to see you again. I hope you are well!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Yes, a very handy tool for plunging and such a hot visual you left me with! I agree with your thoughts around role play as the preference for most… It is such a sexy vibe to be with a lover as the erotic fantasies flow back and forth in sultry tones…both mind and body on fire, mmmm! Thanks so much for visiting…so great to feel your presence again 🙂

      Like

    • Explorer3000
      January 7, 2018

      wow!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

  2. Tiffany
    January 7, 2018

    nteresting thoughts you’ve shared here, Michael. Lots to think about, especially regarding resparking fires through fantasy play. The other ideas shared are also hot, and still trigger some of my shame. Signaling more work for me to do.
    Great to hear from you again!
    How are those abs, I wonder?!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Thank you, Tiffany 🙂 Glad to back after a little respite and see your smiling face :-* We often here about how the sharing of fantasies can rekindle or keep things hot within a relationship. This was a bit of a “connecting the dots” exploration that did lead to deeper understanding for me. I find it very arousing that found some aspects hot…sorry that it triggered other feelings as well. We are all a work in progress. As for my abs, they are in need of a hot workout! 😉

      Like

      • Tiffany
        January 7, 2018

        Yes, that does add more life to the post. Nice ending!

        Like

  3. Kristi
    January 7, 2018

    I always admire how thoughtful you are in your posts Michael and this is another fine example. I recently read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel and one of the things she covers is that to maintain sexual intimacy within a relationship for some people there needs to be a “third”. And a third can take on different forms, from being the real deal to the fantasy of the third. If a woman is sexually, emotionally, intellectually, etc… attracted to another man and her partner knows about it then my design he usually ups his game. He goes from that well she is mine and I don’t need to put the effort into the relationship attitude to oh fuck, I better reclaim what’s mine. That falls right in with the “Sexual Apathy” you write about it.

    All of this makes me wonder since monogamy at one time wasn’t a thing were jealous feelings not a thing either? Did one come about with or because of the other? Did our emotional intelligence take a hit when we decided to pair up?

    Another great post my sexy friend, you always get my noggin thinking. xo

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Hi Kristi! 🙂 So good to feel like I’m seeing you after a little break. Big Hug and a nice squeeze on your sexy ass! 😉 Hope things have been going well :-* I just added the book you referenced to my reading list, thanks for sharing that. I agree with you, I think sexual apathy is real problem and it is made worse when unknowingly experience the divine projection of anima/animus on another person. If we can recognize these influences in our relationships, we at least have a fighting chance. Your closing question have my wheels turning too…certainly worth exploring. I believe in the strength and benefit of the family and committed love. Within a consenting relationship, commitment doesn’t have to equate to “you are the only person I will ever dream of and fantasize about.” That is shadow of romantic love hanging over us. Hope you are having a great weekend 🙂 I just added a new featured image to this post…been working on some new rendering techniques.

      Like

  4. Kristi
    January 7, 2018

    I’ve no doubt you will really like the book. I actually made some notes throughout so that I can go back and revisit the areas that really spoke to me as well as where I think hubby and I could both learn some things from. I am having a great weekend, thank you and I hope you are as well. you’ve been missed around these parts.

    DAMN! The new visual is smoking HOT and to think i had a small hand in that. hehe
    xo

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Your hands certainly played a BIG part! Can’t wait to share the story…

      Like

      • Kristi
        January 7, 2018

        me either! 😀

        Like

  5. Carisa
    January 7, 2018

    Ummm, are you a sex therapist? A sex Ed Teacher? A sex scientist!? I’m fascinated with all the info. I’m going to read more on this!! So fascinating! I have to admit your confession isn’t crazy to me. I’ve always wondered if I was crazy wondering the same thing. I think many may feel this may but aren’t comfortable to admit it. Thanks for all the sex education. Mr. Michael 🙂 I should’ve brought an apple to school today for you! ❤️😉

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      You have me laughing and blushing here! 🙂 I’ve been thinking about these concepts most of my adult life but only now able to really link them to other ideas and find meaning. If I were a professor, seeing you sexy thigh highs and a short skirt would overcome the missing apple 😉 I’m sure you would need to be in detention as well for being so sweet and naughty, mmmm! :-* Glad you enjoyed this. I’m not surprised that you are so supportive, I actually find it super hot that you have similar thoughts. Maybe we should both be in detention ❤

      Like

      • Carisa
        January 7, 2018

        Michael, you’re so cute! Yes, I would be late to class every single day so I’d get detention. 😉 I love that you are so fascinated with all these facts about sex. It shows you don’t want to just enjoy it while you’re in the moment but you want to understand it better. Knowledge is power! Michael, you’re the most powerful man when it comes to sex. Lol! You know it all ❤️😉

        Like

        • Michael
          January 7, 2018

          I wish I knew it all, ha!☺️ It is more like the old Holiday Inn commercial where someone is waxing eloquently on a topic and is asked if he is an expert. He replies, “No, but I did sleep in a Holiday Inn Express last night.”😉

          Like

        • Explorer3000
          January 7, 2018

          lovely comments…………

          Like

  6. Carisa
    January 7, 2018

    Lol! Well, you could’ve fooled me 😉

    Like

  7. Cari
    January 7, 2018

    Thank you for these posts! i long to understand Master’s cuckolding drive– a stimulating discussion will ensue, i’m certain. 💜

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Hi Cari, thanks so much for the comment 🙂 It is interesting that your Master also shares this drive. It reflects the wide range of the power/control spectrum drawn to this sexual play or fetish. Hope you’ll share what you learn 🙂 Thanks for reblogging ❤

      Like

      • Cari
        January 7, 2018

        Michael, i’m sure He or i will write about it in time. We share the blog completely as co-administrators and He posts occasionally. Stay tuned… 💜

        Like

    • Cari
      January 7, 2018

      Reblogged this on Close To His Edge and commented:
      Stimulating read! 💜

      Like

  8. DysfuntionalWomansDigest
    January 7, 2018

    Michael—Thank you for this exceptional bit of information! I felt as though I were attending a human sexuality symposium. I have always suspected that we were not a monogamous species and my mental affairs with other men (while I was married) were always guilt producing. Now that I am single, I am free to indulge my variety-centered palate without the Puritan bullshit. As for cuckolding, what a lucky woman! XO DWD

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      DWD, I’m humbled and flattered by the “sexuality symposium” reference. 😀 Every now and then I like to dig a little deeper to try and make some connections. The perspective of the woman in this journey is always fascinating. There does seem to be an element of guilt at first. It is hard to get over a lifetime of hearing a certain type of behavior is wrong. Then, there is the question of motive. Does the man really just want her to do this so he can be with other women. Fortunately for women, the cuckold fantasy doesn’t work that way. The man gets off watching his lover and then reclaiming her. I’m with you on cuckolding being a great deal for the woman and, believe it or not, it is even better for the man! 😉

      Like

      • DysfuntionalWomansDigest
        January 7, 2018

        Wow! I feel some research coming on…! I have spent a few years “un-learning” some of the slick marketing and religion-controlled propaganda and I believe that we each carry an instinctual code of self-defined behavior that insures the continuation of society and our species and monogamy is definitely not one of them for many of the population. For those who choose a committed path, the addition of “variety” is definitely a cure for apathy and mundane predictability. And it is also fun…! I will look forward to sharing my findings…XO DWD

        Like

        • Michael
          January 7, 2018

          This is a post I am “excitedly” anticipating! Erotic research can be very stimulating… I do think you are on to something with some of themes you have expressed in your last two comments. In most of the world, erotic pleasure has been suppressed and draped in guilt. Glad to see you are breaking free! :-*

          Like

    • Explorer3000
      January 7, 2018

      YES !!!!!!!!!!!!

      Like

  9. Rebecca
    January 7, 2018

    What an amazing post! It sure is an erotic mind fuck!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Rebecca, how are you? I’ve missed your posts. I just tried to link to your blog and it says site has been deleted. I know you went private…are you super private now? 🙂 I thought this might push a few of your erotic buttons :-*

      Like

      • Rebecca
        January 7, 2018

        it sure did push some erotic buttons. im still wet from it!
        i had to change my blog again awhile ago. i will have to send a link then. its no longer private..

        Like

  10. RAS
    January 7, 2018

    Fascinating post, Michael.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Thank you Rita, glad you found it interesting. 🙂

      Like

  11. Maharedwynn
    January 7, 2018

    This was a fascinating read… I’ve never been with a man who expressed this desire… but having another man express interest in me definitely made my lover more demonstrative (?) shall we say? Have you explored the other side of this? The woman whose lover has been with another woman?

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Ah yes, it seems you have experienced a bit of the Sperm Wars effect when your lover upped his attention 😊 You asked about the opposite side of this. I did a post not too long ago called Cuckold: Mind Bender. The comments from many women followed your thoughts. It seems some women find it very arousing to think about their man with another woman. The discussion was very eye-opening and arousing ☺️

      Like

      • Maharedwynn
        January 7, 2018

        I’ll have to check it out….

        Like

      • Explorer3000
        January 7, 2018

        Love your writing… hot and insightful……………….

        Like

        • Michael
          January 7, 2018

          Thanks Expoler3000, the discussions and reactions in the comment threads are often as fun and interesting as the actual posts. We all learn from one another while at times turning one another on 😃

          Like

  12. Explorer3000
    January 7, 2018

    i totally agree :)))))))))))

    Like

  13. M
    January 7, 2018

    I think of adult film stars who are pretty open and accepting about having their SO sleep with others. 😃 Personally, I think that the idea of exclusive monogamy is kind of contrived for most… or maybe it’s because I read Chester Brown’s ‘Paying for It’ book one too many times. ^^

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Haha, thanks for the comment M. Monogamy is an interesting layer within this post. It is ironic that men with the cuckold fantasy are okay with their monogamy but desire their lover to have more… I do believe in emotionally committed relationships and also believe that cuckolding can be one way to keep the fire burning. It is certainly not the only way though, ha!

      Like

      • M
        January 7, 2018

        I feel like another word would be more relevant here. there are similarities in the actions involved, but the intent and psychological outcomes seem WAY different than the historical context. 😁👍

        Like

  14. Michael
    January 7, 2018

    Hi Someone 🙂 Thank you for the message…I’m flattered that you think I might have something to add. It is a challenge for me not knowing a lot of the details around your relationship and what you have/haven’t shared with the other man. I would say first of all, and most importantly, you need to ensure your partners excitement is on the same level as yours. Whatever he needs as the cuckold (the mental engagement)…be sure his needs are being met as well as yours. The other guy is fulfilling a role and he is transitory…your relationship with your partner isn’t. Trust me, though it may require some time to find the right guy, there are plenty of men who will more than happy to fulfill the role of the “other man”. –part of reply offering suggestions deleted– You might also consider backing down on frequency of messaging and access. Fewer but more detailed/erotic messages. Wait a few days to reply…pace yourself and let the erotic tension build. I hope you have an amazing time. You have a lot to handle in the moment…just remember to be aware of your partner and his experience too. Make eye contact with him and talk to him…share what you are feeling. You are getting a physical fuck…be sure he gets an equally satisfying mind fuck. If you haven’t read it already, you may want to read the post Cuckold: Mind Bender. Hope this gives you a few things to think about 🙂

    Like

    • Someone
      January 7, 2018

      (Edited for brevity) So kind of you to respond to my message Michael. Your knowledge of what both men may be wanting from me is helpful as you have a lot more experience with this than I do! I absolutely will not be at all selfish in this. My partner’s feelings are of upmost importance. He is so turned on by the thought of this happening and mostly talks about watching. However, our Alpha has not messaged me since I told him we were ready and wanted to see him again. I’m very aware that he was so intrigued originally by the idea of pushing my boundaries and loved the idea of me being innocent and vulnerable but also loving it so much. Maybe I have lost the mystery of this virginal but horny girl by being so frank in the way I told him we were ready. Your articles are so insightful by the way. x

      Like

      • Someone
        January 7, 2018

        Also, it is just so refreshing to get a mans take on this. The advice I have received from another website is an absolute “Do not do it” from very closed minded women who believe I cannot explore this with my partner and be commited to him. Sexual exploration is so important especially as we are both so young and intending to spend the rest of our lives together. I love having my moms opened to these things. Your writing and willingness to engage others in your erotic exploration is very selfless. And hot 🙂

        Like

        • Michael
          January 7, 2018

          Thanks so much for the compliment on my writing and exploration…I really do appreciate it. 🙂 The majority of the population doesn’t get cuckolding…and that is why it is a kink. I try to explore this topic in a way that is real and sustainable for a couple in a healthy, loving relationship. I’m glad this resonates with you, a blooming cuckoldress :-* O

          Like

    • Explorer3000
      January 7, 2018

      your insight is amazing……………..

      Like

  15. Anonymous
    January 7, 2018

    * mind opened 😉

    Like

  16. Samantha
    January 7, 2018

    Wow, I am so fascinated Michael. I am even wanting to know more about cuckolding.

    I think it’s brave of you to actually tell us about this fantasy of yours. It’s also helpful because I as an erotic writer and someone who enjoys the sexy ride of this kind of stuff, I am learning and reading your post is widening my knowledge within this subject that I am passionate about and for that, thank you.

    Besides, I have put this on my bucket list, I think I would like to try this one day.m lol.

    And I agree with considering our partners’ fantasies because it keeps the relationship young and fresh and besides, if we don’t fulfil their fantasies, who the hell will? Weird or not weird I just think it’s damn sexy to fulfil each others fantasies. Even the image of me performing my partner’s fantasy is just a crazy turn on.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Thank you for the wonderful comment Samantha :-* I was nervous about sharing this fantasy and I think this is why I’ve vested so much in describing what it is and what drives the fantasy. This community is so wonderful, accepting, and curious and has made me feel comfortable with this naughty revelation. You having this fantasy on your bucket list is soooo sexy too! :-* It does seem that if women understand how hot it makes their man, they are more open to it. She pleases her lover (by being with another man) and her lover desires her even more. You make this point perfectly…”the image of me performing my partner’s fantasy is just a crazy turn on.” You definitely get it ❤

      Like

  17. CuckoldQueen
    January 7, 2018

    This definitely makes sense to me. you are so insightful and erotic at the same time. And i can relate to that message at the end on so many levels. Ive sent a few that said almost that same thing more than once!!!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Thanks so much for checking this one out and the “insightful and erotic” comment…you are a kindred spirit 🙂 I try to tap into some of the psychology and emotion I feel in these posts. So much of this kink is hard to “see” so I really focus on the thoughts and feelings. Knowing that you have experienced this, I’m glad you find this rings true. I’m sure you have sent from very naughty messages and can’t wait to read them! 🙂

      Like

      • CuckoldQueen
        January 7, 2018

        I think we may be what they mean when they say “birds of a feather” lol!!

        Like

  18. Morgan
    January 7, 2018

    Well Sexy Sir Michael this is was a interesting read. You are such a shy Leo lion lol :). I have heard many times people enjoy seeing their lover with someone else. Everyone has a fetish of some sort. I have a fetish but I won’t say because you already think I am naughty all the time lol. By the way that is true haha, I have a great sexual apatite. I find sex to be mind blowing and deeply silky sensuous experience. I may not be one to want to share my lover but my fetish is not too different. I love to watch my lover touch himself. Make himself hard and very aroused. It intrigues me I love to hear his moans and watch his movements as if he is putting on a show for me. I want to see his hands all of over his body. It makes me very aroused when I get aroused it is a intense fire that takes a long time to cool down. I enjoy taking my time to please a man from his head to his feet. Licking sucking caressing and yes I like to bite and spank. Rub myself against his body to stimulate myself I will let you guess which part. I love being in control having a man surrender in explicit ecstacy and erotic lust spasming in orgasm. And then I love the punishment I get for being so bad. Nice post Sexy Michael

    Like

    • Explorer3000
      January 7, 2018

      Great article and response………..

      Like

  19. FilthyDee
    January 7, 2018

    Outstanding info Michael. Nice to know there’s a biological explanation for why an old fashioned gang bang is so dirty and hot. Thank you for the links to the previous posts, I’ve got some studying to do.;)

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Haha, thanks😄 Glad you stumbled across this one…right up your alley I suspect? Well, at least the psychology behind some of the hot moments you write about.🔥Hope you enjoy some of the related posts.

      Like

      • FilthyDee
        January 7, 2018

        Yes, up my alley indeed. A home run. I’ve no doubt I will enjoy much more to come.;)

        Like

  20. Explorer3000
    January 7, 2018

    Its great to learn AND get turned on at the same time…………..

    Like

    • Michael
      January 7, 2018

      Yes, I wish psychology class was like this in school, ha! I would love this type of class project.😉

      Like

      • Explorer3000
        January 7, 2018

        ohh yes………………

        Like

  21. Violentwavesof3motion
    January 7, 2018

    Reblogged this on Violent Waves of Emotion.

    Like

  22. Wanna Do It All
    January 8, 2018

    Well, there has to be a reason so many men have these types of fantasies and/or realities and this is one is certainly a viable theory. I think it is the main force in driving my fantasy along with thoughts of knowing my wife is desirable to other men, that she has sexual needs and desires than can be fulfilled not only by me but other men as well, and that the other men she desires may be much different than me. Add in a dash of me wanting to be subservient to an extent to her and my desire to see a dominant male having his way with my wife as I am powerless to do anything to stop them from consummating their mutual pleasures.This is what I call a sizzling hot recipe for an all consuming fantasy! I am afflicted!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 8, 2018

      Great comment! 🙂 I think many men will identify with thoughts around being subservient to your lover and powerless as a dominant male takes and fucks your woman right in front of you…filling her full of his abundant alpha seed. Perhaps you further affirm your status in front of your wife by licking his cum out of her pussy…maybe even cleaning his cock. After all of this, you are aching to fuck her and enter the Sperm War…

      Like

  23. Leg Licker
    January 8, 2018

    Wow! This was very interesting and informative. I like how you mention that race and size factors are not essential but add layers to the whole fantasy. I completely agree with that. For me, it isn’t about the black man. I am hispanic and the women I have cared for and been in love with are hispanic. My greatest turn on is to imagine them with white men…usually white men in positions of authority. There are two women that I have dated in the past and remain close to as friends. They both work in a business atmosphere and have white bosses and co-workers that constantly hit on them. My fantasies now center around them being “office sluts” for their bosses and co-workers. I fantasize that I am offered a job as an errand boy and end up not only watching my girlfriend being treated like a slut and that I am also forced in some way to become submissive to her boss. Well, thanks for sharing this with all of us that have an interest in this subject.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 8, 2018

      Thanks for the great comment, LegLicker. I’ve often wondered about the racial element with different ethnicities and how that plays out. I appreciate you sharing your fantasy. The thought of your sexy Latino ex-grilfirends being treated like fuck dolls is very erotic. I imagine how vigorously you must stroke your cock as imagine one white man after another pumping heavy creamy loads of white seed deep inside them. If only they would once again spread their legs for you and give you a chance to reclaim your hispanic princesses…

      Like

  24. Joe Metal
    January 8, 2018

    This is the science behind cuckoldry. I first came across this idea on a PBS show and have since wondered if a guy knows his lady has been fucked by another guy if that changes the makeup of his sperm. And, if it does, does that effect the intensity of his orgasm. Perhaps this explains why we get off on swinger wives?

    Like

    • Michael
      January 8, 2018

      Thanks for adding to the discussion Joe. I tend to agree with your comment. Even if the thought of our lover being with another man pisses us off, we would still have this biological drive to fuck the hell out of her and reclaim her pussy. For a cuckold, they have to be able to navigate this pissed off emotional reaction and channel it into an erotic experience that is enjoyable for the couple.

      Like

  25. Hang Dog
    January 8, 2018

    Oh Yes!

    Like

  26. Sinclair
    January 8, 2018

    I believe that the “Sperm Wars” makes sense on both a sociological level and pure personal level. The thought of “ropes of sperm” from a large black cock coating the cervix of my blonde wife causes my own balls to swell. Along with that image, thinking about her deep-mouth kissing him while wrapping her legs around his pumping ass (into her) arouses me without fail. That “tribal” aspect of a physically superior competitor “picking her off” and her being a willing and adoring sexual prize really gets me going!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 8, 2018

      Thanks for the thoughtful contribution to this exploration. The kissing and passionate embrace is a hot addition. Seeing and feeling our lover is really into it and serving real pleasure can add to the experience. You’ve created some hot visuals that are stirring and gearing up my production! 🙂

      Like

  27. UDonner
    January 15, 2018

    Once again, your work is thrilling.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 15, 2018

      Thanks UDooner…so glad this piece connected with you. 🔥

      Like

  28. Lexxii
    January 15, 2018

    Well Written ! Please Continue

    Like

    • Michael
      January 15, 2018

      Thank you, glad you are enjoying this series. 😈🔥

      Like

  29. Desiree
    February 15, 2018

    Now I have all kinds of naughty thoughts. 🙂 I truly appreciate your attempts at analyzing the fantasy but it makes me wonder if you’ve suffered many doubts about it during the journey. Not about the outcome necessarily, but doubts about why react so strongly to this particular fantasy. Just curious. As always, looking forward to more.

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Come on, Desiree! 🙂 I am already digging deep into my psyche and you want more…more, ha! More thoughtful reply to follow… 🙂

      Like

      • Michael
        February 15, 2018

        Doubts… That word just hangs there for me. Desiree, I know how you enjoy a bit of mystery….this reply is dedicated to mystery 🙂 There is a song by Led Zeppelin called Kashmir. Robert Plant attributed his lyrics to a place of inspiration he had never traveled but knew he must one day go…a sense of destiny, perhaps. The song is about that journey. Lyrics from Kashmir are sprinkled into the framing of this blog: “Sounds Caress Our Ears”–title of our Music Player; “Time and Space”–included within the subtitle of our blog; “Thoughts Inside a Dream”–title of our Tag Cloud. Each of these phrases are from this song. And, my favorite line, “They talk of days for which they sit and wait, when all will be revealed.” Posts are scattered throughout the blog with story lines unfinished…some started in the middle with no beginning or end. Slowly, like the methodical beat of Kashmir, bridges will be erected and stories will be allowed to proceed and be connected…and one day “all will be revealed”. No doubts. 😉

        Like

        • Sofia
          February 15, 2018

          Wow, I like your response here MIchael.
          xox

          Like

  30. Reticent Mental Property
    February 15, 2018

    Intriguing exploration between Cuckold and Dom…I look forward to the analyses.

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      I’m drawn to contrasts…intrigued but not surprised to discover elements of both drifting so closely together.

      Like

  31. LarryArcher
    February 15, 2018

    Michael – Good beginning and I look forward to the upcoming chapters of Sperm Wars. As I’ve mentioned before, being in the Lifestyle, pretty much everyone I know says that sex after a party is phenomenal and I know it is for us. It’s always funny to talk to a new couple after their first swing party to find that they fucked nonstop for a couple of days afterward. While I often wonder if it’s the supercharged erotic atmosphere of a good party or maybe deep down in our DNA, our troops are battling a sperm war that we are only vaguely conscious of?

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Thank you for the great comment, Larry! You crossed my mind quite a bit as I was writing this…especially as I moved around the topic of Cuckolding. You and your wife are a great example of a couple in “The Lifestyle” that is not into the cuckolding. Your knowledge and experience on the post-swing party, sexual energy is fascinating and I totally get it! It does seems to rally the troops for one more push!

      Like

  32. 1Hotwife
    February 15, 2018

    This is SO TRUE! Steve has written on this a number of times and we believe it to be not just fantasy but fact. Good job on homework Michael! XO

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Thank you! 🙂 I hope Steve’s writing in this area wasn’t the uncredited summary I was referencing, ha! When it comes to you Steve, I know you guys leverage this magnificently within your sensual, loving and oh so naughty relationship!!! 😉

      Like

  33. Steve
    February 15, 2018

    Michael,

    Wow, what a fascinating article! This was the topic of a future post, and you scooped me! 🙂 Seriously, I did attempt to address this partially in my 8-part article on Male Competition back in October 2011, but did not go into it in as much depth as you did here. Indeed, go buy Baker and Bellis and put it on your “Must Read List” now, and while you’re at it, another interesting read is Dr. David Ley’s book, “Insatiable Wives.” The idea of having “competition” in your sex life (real or imagined) can keep a guy focused on his wife/partner like a laser beam, and this can be a win-win as you pointed out. My wife and I have been married 15 years, and the idea of completion has helped take our marriage to new heights. I do not take her for granted, I want to compete for her daily, and “conquer” her all over again, and again.

    Here is one personal example of how even the illusion of competition can work. My wife and I have a “Date Night” once a week, which is usually followed by some scintillating sex talk, and then followed up with amazing sex. Well, one time, we had stayed up way too late, and had also had been “over-served” with a few too many bottles of wine. Well, we did have sex, but I was unable to maintain an erection – which is something that has never happened. I was about ready to chalk it up to the lateness of the hour and way too much wine, when she said something unexpected to me. She said, “Well, if you can’t finish me off, I know who can,” and she reached for “Eddy” her larger dildo. Well, at the mere sight of my “competitor” I was harder than I had ever been before instantly, and we had incredible sex that night. In retrospect, we were both amazed at my “transformation,” and we have both come to realize it was either a biological or psychological effect of the introduction of a “competitor.” We have since had this experience many times, the result is always the same – introduce a competitor, and I become aroused instantly!

    We can’t wait for your next installment! 🙂

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Thank you for the fantastic comment, Steve! 🙂 I hope others will see this comment and check out the incredible blog you and your wife have created.

      As I was writing this, I definitely thought about you and HotWife…you two have definitely mastered this! More importantly though, what I admire most about your relationship is the loving vibe that surrounds everything you do. All forms of sexual play can be taken in different directions based on the nature of the relationship. You have wonderfully crystallized this for me by showing how SPT and SPH can feel so very different around a common subject. It is the core vibe of one’s relationship that drives the tone of sexual play. Be it SPT, Sexual Competition, or any form of sexual play…communication and a common purpose is vital.

      Thanks for the book suggestions as well. I am fascinated by this subject and would love to read more about it. As it is, I’m struggling just trying to keep up with blogs while also carving out some time to write, ha! Your story about “Eddy” was HOT!!! Man, I totally get that reaction! Screw Eddy, Daddy is coming!!! 😉

      On the topic of Sperm Wars, I think I’ve spent myself. 😉 I’m going to have some fun with Sienna’s naughty comments around this and close it out with a naughty bang! That said, I’m looking forward to reading your upcoming post on the topic and how it works for you and the Mrs. 🙂

      Like

  34. Sex in Chocolate City
    February 15, 2018

    Theres a line there and I’ve met many bf, husbands and gf, wives that love the idea of the A type running up against it…and in a moment giving in if you will. A lot of that is due to knowing full well that once you step over in that moment that female will be in a state of uncontrolled bliss. Its the one thing you have wanted to see and its a total mindfuck. It’s very obvious that its a healthy exploration for the two of you…Great seeing it evolve

    Like

  35. Sex in Chocolate City
    February 15, 2018

    hey you 2..i dont think my posts were making it here…hope all is well.

    Theres a line there and I’ve met many bf, husbands and gf, wives that love the idea of the A type running up against it…and in a moment giving in if you will. A lot of that is due to knowing full well that once you step over in that moment that female will be in a state of uncontrolled bliss. Its the one thing you have wanted to see and its a total mindfuck. It’s very obvious that its a healthy exploration for the two of you…Great seeing it evolve

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Hey brother, welcome back! Hope your year is off to a great start…taking care of one hotwife (or two) at a time 😉 Thanks for checking in and catching up our evolving journey. Not sure I’m tracking on some this comment but interested in knowing more. What does “A-Type running up against it” mean?

      Like

      • Sex in Chocolate City
        February 15, 2018

        hey well more that you have dominant desires over sienna but also have that desire to watch get stretched and filled…and how that one is an overwhelming one…

        Like

  36. 'Tis
    February 15, 2018

    I can remember watching a program on, I believe it was National Geographic, but it could have been a NOVA program, who knows it’s been forever ago and yes I’m actually a nerd 😉 …. about just this but in relation to the animal kingdom. They briefly touched on the human element and why a man’s cock is shaped the way it is, the whole scoop and plunge theory which it turns out is true for a lot of different species.

    It’s all quite fascinating and I’m glad to see you exploring this dynamic within yours and Sienna’s relationship. B and I have talked about bringing others into the bed as part of our sexual play and it can be very exciting to see the reaction I get out of him when I’m telling him I want XXX’s cock in me while he watches or whatever it may be.

    But I have to say that after 20 years of “talking” about it and sharing fantasies, it does get old and feel a bit repetitive. I’ll be curious to see in your upcoming posts if you address this or if I’ve just given you some food for thought. 😉

    Great Piece Michael.

    xoxo

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Well Tis, you have definitely given me a lot to think about!!! 🙂 Actually, I’m quite distracted thinking about the stories you and B shared…would love to read some of those!!! Details young lady, details! Toss in a few photos too while you are it! 😉

      I can see how 20 years of the same story would get old. I am certainly in no position to offer any personally informed suggestions on that. That said, if you haven’t checked it out, take a look at the LoveSmallPenis blog…Steve and his wife have commented on this post. It is tastefully done within a positive, loving relationship. They’ve been married for 20 years or so and are keeping it fresh… The theme of the blog may not grab you, but I get a lot from following the interaction within posts and their comments…not what they talk about exactly but how they talk about it.

      “Scoop and plunge”…damn! Where was I? Would love to read a story with you and B sharing your fantasies…tapping into each of your hot buttons…pulling it together into one shared fantasy…one fucking hot story that makes you both cum hard and deep…sharing it with each other (and us) with the potential for making it a reality…

      Like

      • Sofia
        February 15, 2018

        Michael I second that motion… ‘Tis and B????
        xoxo

        Like

        • 'Tis
          February 15, 2018

          Detailed stories huh. Maybe just for s&g’s I’ll write a little fantasy piece and title it Scoop and Plunge. LOL

          Oh lordy, here we are back to photos. Tell ya what. B just wrapped up taking some of me for Hy’s upcoming boob day. The theme is side boob and I’ll be submitting. You can see a pic then. 😉

          I’ll go check Steve’s blog out. Thank you!

          xoxo

          Like

  37. Sofia
    February 15, 2018

    I love how you are researching and all the interesting facts you are putting here. I will admit this stuff fascinates me and I learned quite a lot.
    Thanks Michael.
    xox

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Really appreciate this comment. It was rather cumbersome to sort through it all and find the parts that resonated with me. I’m on board with it in general but there are a few areas that I would have had to make personal disclaimers…I just left those out of the post, ha!

      Like

      • Sofia
        February 15, 2018

        lol
        I hear you Michael. I think we all do that… we adapt and make things to fit our own lifestyles and beliefs.
        In the past we, (JK and I) have been told we don’t really have “true” and “real” D/s relationship because we don’t x, y, and z. Maybe they are right maybe they are not but it doesn’t matter what the masses believe… we know who we are. 🙂

        You did well with your homework. lol
        xox

        Like

  38. JK
    February 15, 2018

    So, if I’m reading you correctly, I would be doing you a favor, actually, by aggressively attempting to seduce Sienna, thereby offering a direct competitive presence and kicking your production of killer and defender sperm into overdrive. in fact. to extend it farther, Sienna would be expressing great love for you and all parts of you (including your sperm), if she were to cooperate with my seductive game and find herself in my hands at precisely the point when you’ll see my hands on her, thereby doubling, nay, quadrupling the sexual turbo boosters. I can tell you right now, Michael, for you, because I like you so much, I would sacrifice my body for your benefit. I know, I know, I’m selfless. People tell me that all the time. 🙂

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      JK, you are a true giver and very generous indeed! 😉 I know this was a tongue in cheek comment, but it reminded of a mental stream I didn’t include in the post…maybe I was going to put it in the cuckold/Dom post or in Sienna’s Submissive post. I’ll share a quick bit here. While it doesn’t come out much, if at all in this post, my writing always describes my reaction to what Sienna says or feels. I rarely if ever include anything about another man pushing my hot buttons. For example, if someone says, “I’m going to fuck your woman”–I will tell him to fuck himself, not going to happen. On the other hand, if I bring up another man or Sienna brings it up (knowing it turns me on)…the experience is very different. I recall you writing along a similar line of thought some time back and know you appreciate the nuances of this difference when discussing how men approach Sofia. Your comments have always been among our favorites because you manage that fine line of letting Sienna know how a photo or story aroused you while also showing respect for our relationship, and me.

      The thought of Sienna being seduced is not hot. The thought of Sienna submitting to my desire for her to be with another man and enjoying that experience is very exciting! They are very different to me. Thanks for the thought provoking comment! 🙂

      Like

      • JK
        February 15, 2018

        I’m glad you can see it’s tongue in cheek.
        These nuances are understandably challenging for other men to grasp when they’ve not had this type of relationship, openly exploring such fantasies. i’m patient about it, and I’ve often given helpful advice to men who wish to be friends with Sofia. She is a submissive, but that doesn’t mean she wants to be submissive to you, or that your obvious dominance turns her on. Flirt with Sofia all you want, be playful and fun and enjoy each other’s friendship, but express any kind of dominance with the expectation you’ll receive a submissive response, and you’ll instead receive a very cold shoulder from her. Men who’ve not yet navigated these nuances don’t get it and need to be coached sometimes. Other times, when they can’t seem to grasp the lesson, they just need to be bounced, which has happened many times since I’ve been with her.

        Like

  39. LarryArcher
    February 15, 2018

    I just finished rereading this post and I think it is one of the best you’ve done and one of the best i’ve read. I look forward to hearing the story when you turn fantasy into reality. To me it’s not “naughty pussy” it’s “naughty cunt” as cunt is so much more dirty and nasty and IMHO better describes our slut girlfriends/wives!

    P.S. After Sienna gets tag-teamed, maybe I’ll send wifey over to help with the clean up chores. LOL

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      Thanks for the great feedback on this post…really appreciate it, Larry! It took quite a bit of time to think through and organize in a way that was hopefully cohesive.

      So, here we are we the cunt-pussy, slut-naughty topic again, lol! You are persistent! I won’t edit it out of this comment though since it isn’t referring to Sienna. Here’s the deal for us. First, Sienna doesn’t like the words cunt or slut. If it turned her on (as I fully understand it does for some women) I would use it. Since it doesn’t, I won’t ever. And, since I know she doesn’t like it, I don’t use them, and I’m not going to allow others to use them to describe her (not that you have). 🙂 There is another aspect as well that I haven’t gone into detail yet. Sienna’s interaction with other men is framed within a submissive mind set or her. She isn’t looking for other men…she is submitting to my desire for her to be with another man. This nuance my not mean much to some folks, but it has meaning to us. We are both fulfill our underlying fantasies in a way that becomes our shared fantasy. This mindset changes the dynamics and meaning of the experience for us. Hope this makes sense.

      Thanks again for the awesome comment, appreciate you taking the time to read it and share your thoughts.

      Like

      • LarryArcher
        February 15, 2018

        I understand where Sienna is coming from and likewise I never use the word “whore” as I consider that a degrading and mean term. One of my GF’s has a pussy with her husband but a cunt with me. “You call me a slut like it was a bad thing” LOL

        This gets into this whole BDSM thing where a lot of women really enjoy being “forced” into sex, in my opinion from growing up with strictly religious parents or influences. Now don’t bombard me with hate mail girls but I don’t want to say most but a lot of women really enjoy being held down during sex. If you don’t believe it, think of how many women love to be spanked during sex yet it is something few men like. Well except for my wife’s sub who loves a high heel in the middle of his back. It’s a fantasy, like all of the other fantasies that we enjoy yet may not ever do in real life.

        Feel free to delete this post if you think it’s objectionable.

        Like

        • Michael
          February 15, 2018

          Yeah, the range of reactions to the same word(s) is fascinating! If it makes our girls hot, we are eager to push those buttons! As for the BDSM thoughts…come on Larry, I only delete a couple words now and then. 🙂 I don’t imagine you will find many dissenters in this little community of folks. This would be a great post on you blog…new reads of this post have probably faded for a while. I’ll link to it again in Part II. Hope all is well, brother!

          Like

      • Sienna
        February 15, 2018

        Thank you Baby for honoring me/us! XO

        Like

  40. LarryArcher
    February 15, 2018

    i’d already thought about posting a some more things on dealing with swinging and you’ve just pushed me over the edge. I need people like you, hottie, steve, and Desiree to keep me in line.

    In swinging we tend to talk blunter than a lot of people are comfortable with regarding sex as it’s meant to be recreational more than emotional. Plus we are free to discuss our kinks openly and a lot of things in the sexual realm are dealt with casually and sometimes it makes straights and semi-straights uncomfortable. So nothing is thought about someone standing in the corner jerking off watching his/her spouse getting their lights drilled out.

    It’s like cuckolding, I never realized that some of my friends were cuck’s as it was just what they did and no one every thought anything about it. Then we start discussing it and I realize that I know those people. 🙂

    Like

  41. Angel Morals
    February 15, 2018

    You might have given me insight in why he would want to see me with another.

    Like

    • Michael
      February 15, 2018

      I think there are multiple reasons that come together and drive our fantasies. I do believe this is one of the elements at play for many men…but not the only element. Thanks for giving it a read! 🙂

      Like

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