The Dionysian Experience

Sensual, Thoughtful, and Very Naughty

Cuckolding: A Brief Introduction

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Playing in the cuckold space is one of my favorite sexual fantasies. Whether I am the cuckold or the alpha male (man assisting in the cuckolding of another man), the erotic layers of this fantasy fascinate me. I am not alone. Within the world of sexual fantasies, cuckolding is a very popular fantasy. Despite its popularity, many cuckolds feel embarrassed or ashamed of harboring this fantasy. I hope to shine some light on the subject.

Neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analyzed one billion sex-related search terms as research for their 2012 book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts. They found that cuckold-related searches rank #2 among most searched for sexual content on the internet. Clearly, there is interest in this sexual behavior.

The meaning of “cuckold” has evolved over time and today we understand it as a term referring to a sexual fantasy/fetish in which the man is stimulated by his emotionally committed partner having sex with another man or men. In its purest form, cuckolding involves three elements. We have a couple that is emotionally committed to one another, his lover is having sex with another man or men, and this arrangement turns the male partner on as well as his lover.

Why are men (or women for that matter) drawn to this popular but secret fantasy? There are many layers associated with this fantasy and each cuckold couple will have their own unique spin. This is why I began with a core definition that forms the essence of cuckolding and is shared by all cuckolds: we are in love, our lover is sleeping with other men, and this excites both of us. Beyond this core, the fantasy takes off in many directions and often becomes a fetish within a fetish.

Here are few cuckold-focused posts that I have already written and some I will be sharing soon:

Cuckold: Mind Bender – Cuckolding is sometimes referred to as the intellectual fetish. This posts explores the erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy and the importance of mental stimulation in the cuckold’s erotic pleasure. For some, there may also be a level of sadomasochism (the “SM” in BDSM) at play. The cuckold’s intense arousal comes from the intense but very pleasurable mental and emotional burn of watching his lover with another man.

Sperm Wars: Seeding Passion’s Flame – It is a somewhat uncomfortable confession…that it really turns me on to think about my lover with another man. The emotional burn, intense mind-fuck, and physical arousal is like nothing I have ever known. Knowing another man is fucking your lover induces a biological reaction known as sperm competition. Measurable effects includes increased arousal (hardness), increased sperm volume, higher sperm motility, increased thrusting, and deeper penetration. Explore the possibilities of sperm competition to reignite the passion in your relationship.

Video: Naughty Angel (Dominant Cuckold) – Dominance and submission are erotic layers sometimes at play in cuckolding. Typically, the cuckold is seen as submissive but this isn’t always the case. Check out this video for a visual exploration of the Dominant cuckold.

Cuckolding vs. Femdom – These fantasies often co-exist in male fantasies but they are not one in the same. Join me for an exploration that teases out the differences between between cuckolding and Femdom fantasies.

Cuckold Interviews

  • Interview with KC – KC describes how he and fiancé got into and enjoy interracial cuckolding
  • Interview with Joshua – Joshua shares his interracial cuckold fantasy and explores how he is trying to get his lover into it.
  • Interview with Carol Ann (coming soon) – Carol describes what led her to secretly cuckold her husband with a young black man and what that experience was like.
  • Interview with Henry – A 40-something, married British male shares his cuckold fantasy and explains why he fantasizes about his wife cuckolding him with black men.

Cuckold-related topics for future exploration:

  • Interracial Sex
  • Small Penis Teasing/Humiliation – as a form of psychological masochism, the cuckold is aroused by his lover teasing him about having a small cock and admitting her craving for a larger cock.
  • Hotwife – the man is aroused knowing other men find his wife or girlfriend desirable. She is a source of pride, status, and power to the cuckold
  • Gift of Pleasure – some cuckolds are adamant that their lover’s pleasure is their only goal.
  • Exhibitionism and Voyeurism – Some of us are into these kinks as individuals. The erotic rush of these kinks can extend into the cuckold experience as well.
  • Wife Breeding –  As men we have a biological imperative to protect scare resources and to extend our lineage. Explore the underlying drivers behind a cuckold’s desire to expend his scarce resources raising the offspring of another man and loss of procreation when another man has breed the cuckold’s mate.
  • Interviews with other men and women who are open to sharing their perspective with others on this kink.

To wrap up this introduction, I set out to show the popularity of cuckolding and define its critical attributes–a definition that applies to all  cuckolds. I’ve also shared some brief introductions to additional erotic layers of the cuckold fantasy that I will be sharing this year on the Dionysian Experience.

I hope you enjoyed this brief introduction to cuckolding and will join the discussion. If you enjoyed the post, don’t be bashful. Click the “like” button and/or leave a comment. Let’s bring cuckolding out of the shadows.

 

 

47 comments on “Cuckolding: A Brief Introduction

  1. Pingback: Cuckolding: A Submissive Woman’s Perspective | The Dionysian Experience

  2. Viola Bleu
    December 29, 2017

    A very interesting perspective on a lifestyle we have dabbled in for over fifteen years! Also, may I add, beautifully written. So another of your readers mentioned somewhere else that you should try an erotic novel and so you should. A man’s perspective on anything written often by more women is, I assure you, quite enlightening and often a turn on in its own right.
    I shall follow your blog with interest.
    I admire your guts to write openly about this. Just see how many you have drawn in during a short period of time.
    Meanwhile, I’ll keep writing short stories about ants and spiders until one day I have the guts to write something from a hotwife’s pov!!
    Keep tapping that keyboard ;))

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michael
      December 29, 2017

      Hi Viola Bleu, I really appreciate your kind comment on my writing style…so glad it resonates with you. Writing a book is something that I have on the distant radar. I think it would be non-fiction though…and erotic.☺️🔥It isn’t always the case but men do seem to write in a rather hard-core manner…in general. There might be a niche for me, ha! I have a few more posts on this topic already posted. Given that you have actually experienced it (I have several times), it would be great to get your perspective as a woman. Male readers always find that fascinating. If you ever post anything on this topic, I will certainly be eager to read it. In the meantime, I will be sure to follow what you writing about now. So nice to meet you. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      • Viola Bleu
        December 29, 2017

        Thank you for taking the time to write back. You must be such a busy bull… I mean bee😀
        Your whole blog looks progressional and well-thought out. You’ve given it a lot of thought and it shows. You deserve the following you have built up, well done.
        I have literally just started dabbling and keep swinging between random musings and flash (tame) fiction.
        I am waiting to be hit between the eyes as it were, with the with the direction choice.
        We shall see … I’ve many short work in progress pieces on the erotic genre, written in the 3rd person for a fictional feel… but based on experience.
        Just not had the confidence to think there’s a market for it.
        But then I found your site!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Michael
          December 30, 2017

          Haha! Busy bull…I like that!😃Thank you so much for the feedback on my blog’s appearance and organization. I do want to create a special place for others to visit that is easy to move around in and visually pleasing. I’m really looking forward to your erotic stories and knowing that they are based on real events makes it even more enticing 🔥I’m going to be offline for a few days over New Years but look forward to picking up in 2018 and getting into your writing. Happy New Year😃 🎉

          Like

  3. Tiffany
    January 6, 2018

    I’m curious to understand the cuckold’s perspective and am looking forward to more posts.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Thanks for giving this one a read. It is truly the tip of the iceberg but I look forward to building it out and getting your perspective on it. Such a hot fantasy!

      Like

      • Tiffany
        January 6, 2018

        Just the tip?
        Ok, I’m definitely excited to experience more through your posts.
        Yes, I agree. The contrast is pretty hot, too.

        Like

  4. JFBreak
    January 6, 2018

    I am certainly somewhere in the Cuckold space, though I do feel that the term has been co-opted to be a negative connotation. Thanks for expanding on the fetish within a fetish aspect of it. I prefer to go with Hotwife because it lends itself to the idea of “sharing” (though some women are offended by that) my wife for her pleasure and mine. The third realizes that he has won the lottery and is there because I’ve agreed to (really, encouraged) the arrangement.

    I’m not put off by the couples who turn this lifestyle into the husband being made fun of or humiliated by his smaller penis, etc., I say to each their own. I just appreciate that we all have our own often strange turn-ons, and the Hotwife theme works for us.

    I look forward to reading more.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Thank you for the very thoughtful reply. I took a high-level browse of your blog and you have been writing for a while….look forward to reading about your experiences and having an ongoing discussion throughout different posts. Your thoughts are the “third” winning the lottery and you agreeing to the arrangement really resonates. When cuckolds are in fantasy mode, we often “act” like we have no power and have to endure the cuckolding. However, the reality is that we have great power in this scenario. If it wasn’t a turn on, it wouldn’t happen.

      Like

  5. Paintrass
    January 6, 2018

    I so get this as I fall under the cuckquean spectrum of fantasies and desires…. love everything you write and all of the art…

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Cuckquean…I am fascinated and a bit surprised by the number of women that fantasize about their man being with another woman. As a man with a cuckold fantasy, I totally get it though. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts as I dive deeper into this space. I was excited reading a previous comment you left in another post. This just cranked up and extended the fullness of that reaction!🔥You move around in different sexual spaces…very sexy.

      Like

  6. Graveyardnight
    January 6, 2018

    Great blog. I’ve had the cuckold fantasy for several years. As you’ve probably seen on my blog, cuckolding is a major part of my stories. I don’t watch the studio porn, it’s the amateur stuff that turns me on; particularly, men filming their wives having sex with other men. I’ve often wondered what the man and wife feel. Jealous? Hatred? Love? Lust? From cuckolds I’ve talked to, most say hearing their wives moan and scream and call for the Bulls cum, makes them feel horrible and it’s a place that they enjoy. Some prefer their wives to have a full-time boyfriend, or as some have called it a second husband. At any rate, I’ve found it very fascinating.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      As you describe, there are definitely a lot of variations on the cuckold fantasy. I’ve experienced it from both sides (Bull and cuckold) and don’t think hatred or horrible are emotions that come into play. I think there is a big disconnect between what some with “the fantasy” fantasize about compared to real experience. Really, I think a lot of cuckold fantasies aren’t even cuckold fantasies…they are more Femdom/humiliation fantasies and can exist without a loving relationship as the foundation. I have several posts coming up where I try to expand on some of these topics and hope you will enjoy them. 🙂 I’m with you and find it very fascinating and extremely erotic.

      Like

      • JFBreak
        January 6, 2018

        I would just add that in “normal” society, the only cuckolds depicted on TV or movies are in negative connotations. Tony Soprano cuckolds his friend, not because the friend likes it but he takes his wife as a show of power. The friend is left humiliated. In other movies, bad men often rape the wife, forcing the husband to watch at gunpoint. The husband whimpers because he cannot do anything to “protect” his wife, and in some scenes the wife appears to have a moment of pleasure.

        In reality, at least in my experience and those I’ve chatted with in Hotwife/Cuckold forums, if/when there is a humiliation aspect, it is part of the play. One example. It isn’t that I have a some super small penis, but our friend does in fact have a larger one. I find myself extremely turned on by having my wife describe how “huge” his cock is. Even more turned on when he and I are standing there and the size difference is so obvious. None of this takes away my ability to make my wife orgasm, but in that context, an outsider could view this as humiliation.

        Like

        • Michael
          January 6, 2018

          Hey JFB, sorry I missed this wonderful comment! I agree with you on the humiliation/teasing aspect of cuckolding. A lot of guys do enjoy the cock comparison and having our lover acknowledge that she wants more…she wants a larger cock. In the moment comparisons…so hot and erotic! I would venture to say that the majority of cuckolds enjoy this added layer of size comparison. Would you agree? I certainly enjoy that form of erotic teasing as well. In the post, I was trying to drill down to a few elements that all cuckolds share. As you know, humiliation play can exist separately from cuckolding and some guys can get off on that whether it is with his lover or not. Also, I was suggesting that humiliation isn’t an added erotic layer for all cuckolds. I don’t know if you read the more recent post, Cuckold: Mind Bender but you might enjoy the evolving discussion and comments.

          Like

  7. Vinnieh
    January 6, 2018

    Cuckholding sounds really interesting.

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      I will be writing in more detail about it. I have one series of posts “American Gigolo” where I serve as the alpha/Bull for a married couple. I’ve been on the other side as well.

      Like

      • Vinnieh
        January 6, 2018

        Will be sure to check those out.

        Like

  8. paws2smile
    January 6, 2018

    This is something I have wanted to experience. 🙂

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Check out the other two posts (Mind Bender and Sperm Wars)…they are a little richer and have some great discussion by other women which is fascinating. Has your thoughts around this been around cuckolding your lover or perhaps him cuckolding you? This fantasy really pushes my erotic hot buttons 🙂

      Like

      • paws2smile
        January 6, 2018

        Where he would watch. So would that be cuckolding me? But it could/would also be with a bisexuality fetish? I’m not bisexual but the thought of a woman eating me out in front of a lover excites me. Locking eyes with him the whole time, while she brings me to climaxing is a huge fantasy of mine.

        Like

        • Michael
          January 6, 2018

          Mmmm, that is a juicy fantasy! 🙂 So, explore the cuckold fantasy from the vantage point of the man watching his lover with another man. This is the most commonly associated scenario. The man that is watching is the cuckold. If the woman experiences a scenario where her man is with another woman that is similar to cuckolding. The woman in this case is experiencing the cuckquean fantasy. As far as a woman and woman while the man watches…well that is probably called heaven on earth for all men, ha! I should add…love your mention of eye contact. The cuckold is often physically disconnected from the experience but the emotional and mental stimulation is super engaged. The eye contact just cranks his enjoyment up to even higher levels. Sorry about being slow to reply to a comment another post. I’m usually better but business had me tied down the last couple days. Thanks for exploring 🙂

          Like

  9. CuckoldQueen
    January 6, 2018

    i love reading your blogs and the comments that form from them. its a nice thought knowing that it isn’t as unusual as people are lead to believe. i know for me it just started out at dirty talk during our usual romps but the more we talked the more i found it was actually turning me on. my initial thought was…oh god something is wrong with me. lol

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Thank you Cuckold Queen, I’m truly flattered. 🙂 I’ve had a similar awakening on the popularity of this kink/fetish. It really isn’t one that people share with others. It’s hard to imagine a woman sharing with her girlfriends that she cuckolds her lover. Same way for guys, I never told any of my guy friends that cuckolding is a huge turn-on for me. Yet, discussions of other fantasies are somewhat commonplace.

      Like

      • CuckoldQueen
        January 6, 2018

        i think the everyday male fantasy is one grown out of being the biggest baddest man in the room. things like multiple women or being the dominant in the bedroom. but when it comes to this the initiial reaction is that it is something that makes you less of a man….its that old caveman mentality of hitting her over the head and dragging her to the cave. most men see their women as THEIRS and that is a thing of pride and masculinity so they could never wrap their heads around something like this

        Like

        • Michael
          January 6, 2018

          I like the caveman reference. Funny that cuckolding is sometimes referred to as the intellectual fetish and suggests the need for mental stimulation (along with physical). Cuckolds come in many forms. Have you watched my video “Naughty Angel-Dominant Cuckold”? I tend to lean that way but am flexible when exploring and try different things to see what I like. I have explored as an “Alpha Male” as well and been the bull for cuckold couples. Most of the men that are able to pull off real-life cuckolding (as opposed to guys that just fantasize about it) are driven, successful men, good lovers, and are alpha-male types in daily life. Exploring cuckolding is a way for them to turn their world upside down and they find intense pleasure in this alternate universe. My guess would be this is true for your lover as well and that is why you are crazy about him. The idea of a cuckold being a pathetic, sissified man is something that comes to us from porn and I am on a mission to dispel this myth, ha! Thanks for checking this post out.

          Like

  10. Kris
    January 6, 2018

    I would like to find more of this phrase from the past. In Victorian lit, it seems to be what the man is called after the wife cheats on him. Fascinating stuff.

    Like

    • JFBreak
      January 6, 2018

      Kris – I think that is an accurate description of the term these days, too. Difference is, I think a lot of the cuckolds today actually enjoy it (having been cheated on).

      Like

      • Kris
        January 6, 2018

        Thank you. It is a fascinating theme.

        Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Sorry for the slow reply, Kris. Really appreciate you checking this one out. Your recollection of this term is indeed how it was used and is the original definition. My use of it is in the context of cuckolding as a “sexual kink/fetish” or sexual play. The couple finds it arousing rather than hurtful. I have several other posts that take this topic a little deeper with more to come. 🙂 If the man is being cheated on and he doesn’t find it arousing, then of course it isn’t a sexual kink/fetish.

      Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Sorry for the slow reply, Kris. Really appreciate you checking this one out. Your recollection of this term is indeed how it was used and is the original definition. My use of it is in the context of cuckolding as a “sexual kink/fetish” or sexual play. The couple finds it arousing rather than hurtful. I have several other posts that take this topic a little deeper with more to come. 🙂

      Like

  11. FilthyDee
    January 6, 2018

    Michael, Thank you for sharing your deep knowledge and passion for cuckolding. I always thought it was used as a negative term, or a joke. Because of you I now understand more of what the appeal is. I find it fascinating. I’m pursuing my PHD in cuckoldry here 😉

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      PhD in cuckolding, love it!😄I’m on a bit of a mission with my cuckolding posts and your reaction and comment is extremely rewarding feedback. I appreciate you, brother.

      Like

      • FilthyDee
        January 6, 2018

        I respect your mission and urge you to carry on. 😉 I appreciate you as well!

        Like

  12. MidwestCuckolding
    January 6, 2018

    Reblogged this on Midwest Cuckolding and commented:
    Great read!!

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Thank you for the reblog, my friend. I see we have similar interests.😉

      Like

  13. hard8bbc4mwf
    January 6, 2018

    Reblogged this on BLACK COCK 4 HER DISCREET and commented:
    i like

    Like

    • Michael
      January 6, 2018

      Glad you enjoyed this and appreciate the reblog. I believe quite a few people read the comments…you are always welcome to share your thoughts. I think it would bring a fresh perspective. Anyway, thanks again.

      Like

  14. Michael
    January 6, 2018

    I received a series of lengthy comments and replies with KC on cuckolding in reaction to this post. He shares intimate insights around his journey into cuckolding. For ease of reading, I’ve repackaged his comments into an “interview”. To access this interview, please visit my home page, select the Cuckold menu option and look for “Cuckold Interview with KC.” Some of the themes covered in KC’s interview include:

    Small Penis Teasing
    Interracial Sex
    Primacy of the relationship
    Creampie
    Humiliation play
    Bisexuality
    Hestia – Aphrodite: Cognitive Dissonance

    Like

  15. Pingback: Cuckold Interview With KC | The Dionysian Experience

  16. Pingback: Video: Naughty Angel (Dominant Cuckold) | The Dionysian Experience

  17. Lexxii
    January 15, 2018

    Well Said ! Power To More Male Cuckolds & Cuckolding 🙂

    Like

    • Michael
      January 15, 2018

      Thank you, Lexxii. If done properly (and with good intent), it can enhance the relationship. I’m sure this isn’t lost on you. As always, appreciate your stopping by. 🙂

      Like

  18. Zabhella
    January 15, 2018

    Good writing

    Like

    • Michael
      January 15, 2018

      Thanks for giving it a read…hope you enjoyed it. I believe we may have some common interests.

      Like

      • Zabhella
        January 15, 2018

        It’s likely

        Like

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This entry was posted on December 26, 2017 by in Cuckolding.
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